Responsible parenting 101

Do you like wearing a donkey tail and showing it off ?

What about acting like a monkey? With the moves and sound effects? In front of friends and family. Like a performance.

How about singing silly songs of flowers and rainbows?

Making bad music that makes you dance like the world’s going to end?

No?

Are you sure?

Well, doesn’t seem like you and my 4-year-old can be friends then. Sounds like you’re nothing like her.

That’s ok.

She’s comfortable in her own dreams and imaginary superhero friends. They are her team. They’re not perfect, but they always show up when she needs them.

She doesn’t like perfectionism. She runs away from planning and strategy. Anything that involves thinking long and hard about the future is reducing playtime.

So she doesn’t bother.

She wants to run around like it’s a celebration to be alive.

To be able to “BE” is a gift.

And she uses her gift every moment.

Her moments are made of everything life has to offer right then and there. NOW. HERE.

Including pain.

As soon as the moment passes, so does the pain.

She doesn’t judge her moment based on experience. She just experiences it for what it is.

Ah, the meaning of life. What is the ultimate purpose?

Nah, not for her. She just lives it.

But hey. I’m a responsible parent. I know how the world works. And believe me, I’m trying to knock this wisdom and wonder out of her.

It’s not going to serve her in the corporate world. Her boss is not going to care about what colour her unicorn is.

I’m the grown-up here. And I KNOW what the future holds. It’s worrying.

I need to teach HER how to worry about the future. How the present should be used to plan for the future.

Or contemplating on the past.

I also need to show her how pain can last a lot longer than in the moment.

Joy? That’s not found in drawing bad stickmen or in a hug. She needs to root for it in accomplishments. In success.

And of course, I still need to take her through the Success 101 course.

It’s hard, but I’m trying my best to be a responsible parent. So far, I’ve had limited success.

But she’s only 4.

I’ve got time to parent my way through her childhood.